Then There Are The Parents…..

A long time ago we learned that parents play an extremely important role in the success or failure of a pitcher. When our Instructor group gets together, parents are a huge topic of conversation. You may think the talk is negative, but read further for some good news and some very specific things you can do to help your athlete most.

Yes, sometimes parents come with an agenda. Not long ago a parent came with ideas of a technique she wanted us to teach her daughter. We were stunned. The poor kid had many barriers that needed to be eliminated before we could consider moving forward. Mom wasn’t interested in hearing that. She wanted to go straight from A to Z. She will continue to jump from instructor to instructor searching for a magic pill. We simply feel very sorry for that kid.
Those parents are the exception. We can tell you stories that make laugh, cry, or stand in awe. Because of the qualifications we require of our Instructor Candidates, the extensive training required, and the continuing education after Certification, our Certified Instructors attract some amazing parents.
Our Instructors are unmatched in several catagories. Currently our average Certified Instructor has over 200-hours of training. That is equivalent to five 40-hour work weeks. That is also more than we require, but because we are very selective in choosing candidates, we get the right people, and they continually want to update their training.
They are very professional, experienced, knowledgeable on efficient movement patterns, and updated on all of the research we do. They can not only spot the issues quickly, but tell you exactly where they originate, then give you a detailed plan on how we are going to turn things around for her. That attracts the kind of parents who think in terms of development, building the kid for long-term success, and celebrating each step of the journey.
One dad brought me a 10-year-old who was taught to be stiff, jerky, and was far worse than the kid I mentioned above. She couldn’t even pitch in games. I explained all of the things we were going to have to address and told him it would take a lot of patience, saying, “I didn’t break her, but we can fix her if you are willing to help her stay on track.” It took several weeks, but he stayed the course. After her first tournament, he called to tell me that his daughter said she had a blast and that she wanted to “pitch forever”. This big, strong daddy was so “choked up” he could hardly finish a sentence. That simply increases our commitment to the family.
Being a parent is tough. Knowing when to apply the brakes or gas is an art. Our two daughters were vastly different, and things changed daily, so we had to monitor carefully to make sure we were involved in ways that would be most beneficial. They both arrived at strong D1 college programs, but in very different ways. Did we make mistakes? You bet. Kids are very forgiving, and showing them that you are willing to admit those mistakes and help them move in better directions can be a great example. It builds trust.
What kind of parents do we love?
1-They are not afraid of the process. They welcome it. They know you have to crawl before you walk, and walk before you run. I recently saw a kid from North Carolina who had several gigantic barriers. We were very honest with the family. Those issues must be eliminated. Step-by-step we went through the progression that must occur. They took careful notes on how to make it happen. I saw her about a week ago, less than two months after our first meeting, and was completely impressed. I want to keep this kid and parent in our stable. The kid is great, but this is the kind of parent we want representing our group on the sidelines.
2-Good parents have done their research. They have been around the block and seen a lot of kids. They ask questions. We love it when they arrive, saying they “found us through another pitcher they admire”.
3-They partner with the kid. Being too involved is just as bad as not being involved at all. They carefully observe in order to learn the role that works best for their girl.
4-Good parents see themselves as “assistant coaches”. Last week a student was sick and could not come to a class we offered at a distant location. The dad asked if he could come, pay the fee, and take notes so they could stay on track. I was happy to have him come, but would not let him pay. His dedication to the kid was something we want to encourage.
5-So often, with the good parents, we see a light in their eyes. Their daughter is allowing them to share in special moments. Softball is something she “does”, not something she “is”. It is another chance to be a part of her life.
6-Good parents measure the character of the Instructor carefully. This one humbles us because we all feel we could do better. They are watching us to see if we are instilling the right values and helping the kid grow as a person, not just as a pitcher. One day I was working with one of our Certified Instructors who is a strong Christian and the student shared a frightening situation in her life. He asked if he could have prayer with her, and right there in the facility they quietly bowed their heads. I could see that it meant so much to her.
Other Instructors might surprise a student by showing up at her game, sending her a text, or writing an encouraging email when they learn that she needs a lift. I never cease to be amazed at the extra efforts our Instructors make. Parents may not share the same faith, personality, or values, but the good ones watch carefully to see if this is the kind of person who can help the kid reach her potential as a person and pitcher.
7-Good parents make us feel a sense of excitement and hesitation at the same time. We know they are going to push us, bring intelligent questions, great observations, and a measurement of progress thus far. They are ready to learn the next step. Staying ahead of these people is challenging, yet rewarding, to us. It keeps us on “our game” at all times.
8-Good parents ask why. They want understand each part of the process. What causes this issue? How will that drill or exercise help correct it? How do we measure success? What are the steps along the way? How many reps? What should she feel when doing it correctly? Yes, we have produced incredible numbers of D1 pitchers, and you recently saw a couple in the College World Series. Big deal! The important part is where your daughter is at the moment so we can develop a plan to help her reach her specific goals. How will we get her there, wherever “there” happens to be for this individual pitcher? Do not trust us because of our accomplishments. Constantly ask why. Make us earn your trust with your daughter, every moment, every lesson, and expect us to make you feel that we are pouring just as much effort and attention toward her as we did our World Series performers.
9-Good parents prioritize. They are not consumed with playing every possible tournament, but focused on development. They are growing a pitcher and a person. Their focus is further down the road.
10-Good parents do not know they are good. They do not spend time on message boards bragging about how well their daughter is doing or trying to tell you how to raise your pitcher. They do not stand on the sidelines giving advice to other parents. They do not need affirmation from anyone, but simply look to see if the light in their little girl’s eyes is brighter than the day before, using that as motivation to do a better job the next day.
11-Good parents humble us. Their interest in doing the right things with their daughters creates a sense of responsibility in us, and motivates us to be sure we are doing our absolute best. We know the work will continue at home.
Good parents are the kind of people I want as friends. Over the years I have come to know some incredible people by working with their daughters. We may teach their daughters how to pitch. In return, they teach us how to be better people.
***Note: If you are a former college pitcher who would like to learn about our Certification process, contact us. You will be surprised about all of the ways we can help you become successful. How much does it cost to train with us? Nothing. We believe pitching can be much better in America and are looking for people who have a passion for helping kids succeed.