The Greatest Competitor

How much of your success is physical? How much is mental? The reality is this. It is all mental, directly or indirectly. You cannot control your size, natural gifts like speed, or health issues, but the desire to overcome is a powerful potion that allows us to claim our unfair share of opportunities, regardless of circumstance.

If we want something badly enough, we will find a way to get there.
Each kid exhibits this in different ways, but if this desire is not present the outcome will be mediocre. Having developed a couple hundred D1 pitchers, we know that no other trait comes close to determining her fate. That is why we hammer this subject over and over. Today let’s look it from a different perspective, one which affected my life tremendously.
As a kid I was always the shortest and slowest kid on any team. Eventually I began to lose faith in myself. Then, I met Charlie.
Charlie was several years older but he took an interest in me. He had overcome challenges in his life to become an amazing man. Looking back, I realize how many life lessons he shared that affect the way I teach kids today. Here are a few.
One day he invited me to grab my bow and go hunting with him. The weather was absolutely terrible, but he said, “There is not much chance of seeing any deer today, but if we stay home there’s no chance.” That always stuck with me. The lesson learned: There are many times when you will feel like you have little chance of winning, but if you give up before the game starts you may begin a pattern of accepting defeat. Acceptance is the scary word.
We played every sport together over the years. Within minutes he would have figured out an opponent, his weaknesses, strengths to be avoided, and tendencies he could exploit. He carefully developed little strategies that simplified the challenge. The lesson learned: Everything in winning is about finding better angles.
He observed things I never considered. A small basketball court offered different advantages and challenges than a big court. If we were outdoors, he noticed heat, cold, even the type of surface and how that would affect an opponent. He quickly observed who had the “hot hand” on our team and made sure we utilized him. The lesson learned: It was never just “playground basketball”, but a disciplined approach to every part of life, and it surprised me that it could be so much fun.
He actually listened to me. I was just a kid, but often my suggestions were met with, “That’s a good idea”. He never gave the impression of a “know it all”, but his desire to win at anything led him to look for any ideas that could get him to the objective more quickly. It reminded me of hiring a fishing guide years ago who had a wonderful reputation. He was the best. At the marina, as he met friends on the water, everywhere we went he asked questions about the conditions, the fishing, and he carefully observed everything about the water that day. I wanted to ask a lot of questions, but he constantly asked me things about my fishing experiences. He was constantly searching for one more nugget that he could put in his bag. The lesson learned: You are never so good that you cannot learn from another, even those who might be seen as beneath you. Humility keeps you learning and growing.
He was the greatest sport. If you beat him, you had to bring your best. He would be proud to know you and would congratulate you. But, you knew that he would learn from that experience and find a better approach next time. The lesson learned: There would always be a next time. Use today’s experiences to prepare for it.
He invested in me. At the end of high school I wanted a car so badly. His car was for sale but I didn’t have the money. One day he pulled into the driveway and signed the title over to me, saying, “Pay me when you can”. You can be sure that I put every penny into paying him, far sooner than I ever expected, because he believed in me. That made me believe in myself. The lesson learned: A great competitor raises the level of people around him, or her, sometimes without even knowing it.
“We are going to win. Now we just have to figure out how we are going to do it.” Sometimes he said it, sometimes you saw that confidence in the way he carried himself, but you knew the expected outcome, so you could focus all energy into steps along the way. The lesson learned: Do not spend any energy trying to convince yourself the goal can be achieved. Assume that is possible and spend your time determining the best way to get there.
If you watch softball on TV, you have seen my kids, whether in regular season games or the College World Series, and the rate at which they are getting recruited is exploding. The reasons are simple. We are getting better at recognizing competitors, demanding more of those who say they have big goals, helping them find angles to exploit their specific skills, never allowing them to accept defeat, and creating a disciplined approach where everything is measured against the goal.
Give us a kid who wants to thrive in that environment and the outcome is rarely in doubt.