If Your Daughter Is Struggling…..
When is a good time to make a change? We hear that question all of the time. When should we set aside time to make changes? My father-in-law likes to say, the best time to plant a fruit tree is ten years ago. The second-best time is right now. The sooner you plant, the sooner you enjoy the fruit.
A couple of years ago, some parents brought their daughter to us and her form was so very bad. She was very athletic and strong but, at 11 years old, her mechanics were simply horrible. They tried a lesson and saw instant results. I told them this girl could become a great one, but they needed to hold her out of games for at least a week to let her make the adjustments. The parents could not stand it if she were not the star, so they put her right back on the mound in a game the next day. Old habits returned instantly. They told me they would come back when she wasn’t as busy with games, but I knew they were never coming back when they said, “She embarrasses us when she does not pitch well”. Talk about an unhealthy relationship. She does not live far from here, but last I heard she had given up pitching due to shoulder problems. I feel sorry for the kid.
It almost seems that some parents are more concerned with their own gratification than the kid’s long-term development. It is fun to watch your daughter play. I get that. But if she plays all of the time she never gets time to work diligently on her skills. Ask anyone who has been around the game for a long time. They will tell you that the vast majority of pitchers at age 11 have fallen by the wayside by age 15.
Recently a parent contacted us about bringing her 10-year-old to see me, saying they would have to miss a game to come to the lesson, but they had already gotten the coach’s permission. I was a little surprised, but the mom said, “Our main concern is helping our daughter reach her goals, not winning another game. If we do it right, she will have plenty of victories down the road”. I admire the mom. I know it was a tough choice for the coach, but I really respect his emphasis on development. He has the right focus, and victories follow people like that.
A set of parents recently contacted one of our Certified Instructors. They had seen a huge and very positive change in another pitcher who had begun working with our Instructor and they were very impressed. These parents wanted to know if they could just wait till fall to make the change because they knew their daughter had a lot of big mechanical issues, and right now she has a lot of tournaments to play. If your daughter has issues with her movement patterns, every single day you wait is another day of reinforcing bad muscle memory and building the wrong muscle structure. Breaking those habits will be tougher for her if you wait. Our Instructor simply said to them, “If what she is doing was working, you would not have called me. Every day she continues that pattern she is being beaten down physically, mentally, and emotionally, and you want to continue that for what reason?” It’s a tough point. It is a fair point. It demonstrates the passion for excellence of our group, and I admire those around me who put the kids’ health, enjoyment of the game, and personal development ahead of expediency. Those are our people, and if they offend someone with that approach, we stand by them.
The best time to plant a fruit tree is ten years ago. The second best time is today. If your daughter’s health, enjoyment of the game, and personal development is important, whether it is pitching, hitting, or fielding, the best time to begin making improvements is last year. The second best time is today.
Great Article! Amen! Thanks for all you have done for my daughter and continue to do!
Denny,
Great article! When Haley came to you it was 4 day before her summer club tournaments started. She had healed from her injury, gotten strong through PT, but had to change.
Before the trip down from michigan we all signed a “contract” I had drafted. It was cute, but had some serious points in it. Boy did we need to go back to that agreement when frustration hit! I also called her coach and apologized in advance at not knowing How Haley would throw for awhile, but that I was sure he would do the same for his child if it meant keeping them safe.
The first tournament after her original lessons with you were excruciating. Haley would throw an inning or 2 and then we would pull her as soon as she would revert to old mechanics. The next game the same thing , then again. She hated it. We hated doing it. But it worked. And now she is enjoying some of the fruit of her labor as she graduates tonight and moves on to college ball!
Tough love isn’t easy, just necessary. I think many parents need to consider more often what are children get out of playing any sport. What do we want them to learn ? I have a ridiculously long list , but this particular example at hand is patience, priorities, excellence, and most of all delayed gratification. The best things in life most often come with a price tag.
Haley now says that her injury was the best thing that ever happened to her ( so far:). There’s always something waiting for us on the other side if we fight through. I am so grateful that my daughter was able to get that lesson! Dont miss the opportunities to teach your daughter and take advantage of The moments that bring maturity. Sitting the bench brought her humility and an appreciation for the game she never had.
Thank you ( for the 27th time) for your commitment to our girls, your passion for the game, and your wisdom to produce results. We love you!