The Little Girl Who Cried

Suddenly the playoff game was over and a little girl who had worked so hard saw her season abruptly come to an end. She couldn’t hide the tears streaming down her face, embarrassed that other members of her team were trying to console her.

As we got into the car, she was upset to be so emotional about the loss. I told her that we couldn’t be more proud. She had shown that it meant more to her than it did to most members of her team. Once she was finished crying, I suggested we work hard to make sure that the outcome would be different next time. I told her a great coach once said that the best athletes are most receptive to change after a tough loss. They don’t want to feel that pain again. Over the next few days we took the lessons learned and began the process of making those changes.
There were more tears over the next few years but she was no longer embarrassed by them. Eventually she began to develop a steady resolve, each loss fueling a fire to become even better. The tears were gone, replaced by an understanding that each loss gives us feedback that can lead us to greater things. It took her further than any of us could have dreamed. I saw the tears one more time when Virginia Tech surprised her by retiring her number in front a standing ovation at a home football game.
Tears, alone, are no indicator of success. Each person handles setbacks in different ways. The important thing is in how we respond afterward. As I studied the life of Lincoln, it was amazing the way he failed at almost everything he tried. Each time he responded by reaching higher, learning from the stumbles and fueling his fire to reach for greater things.
Setbacks can be the foundation upon which champions are built. Help her learn to process them in healthy ways. Tears of disappointment can lead to tears of joy when you learn from the experience, allow it to motivate you, and are receptive to changes that could take you to the next level.